Mommies need not worry!

At Celia's One Year Appointment we ran into the surgeon that saw her on the night that she was born. I was so glad that he was able to see her walking (cough cough, running around like a crazy girl). 

When Celia was one week out of the NICU, we had to come back for an appointment with this surgeon. Not for any particular reason, just for protocol since we were discharged from the hospital. (We will never have to schedule an appointment with him again, not annually....never). During that visit, (when celia was 6 weeks old) he had me look at Celia's abdomen: a triangular shape of muscles right above her belly-button that looked like she had been working out her "abs". It was a hernia. Nothing harmful at all. He said she would just have to get it fixed when she was a year or two old. It isn't painful, he said, and won't really affect anything at this point. 

Anyway, when we ran into him at Celia's One Year Appointment I asked him about the hernia. I told him how I want to get her into a gymnastics class in a few months, but wouldn't do it without his permission. He took a seat and put Celia on his lap. After a few seconds of feeling her stomach, he smiled and said, "I wouldn't worry about it". (Meaning that he hernia was gone). I asked, again, if Celia could begin gymnastics. "Absolutely". 

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It just amazes me that every worry that I have ever had with this crazy little girl is put behind me. It is so easy to worry. It is so beautiful to know that I don't have to and that I shouldn't. Unfortunately, worry has been a struggle for me that I constantly must overcome.

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As mothers, we question the decisions we make for our children all the time. We wish we would of done this. We wish we wouldn't have done that. Before Celia was even born, I was in my own little world of frustration, unrealistic expectations, and a strange mix of thankfulness and ungratefulness all at the same time. 

*This story has been told plenty of times before, but I cannot get over where Celia has been and where she is now...and how much I worried about things that were taken care of already*

I had the perfect plan when Celia was born, I would give birth naturally (well, I didn't have a c-section regardless of her birth-defect and much pressure from the OB and others. Thank goodness for an awesome, well-educated perinatologist who was my advocate and my only hope for a somewhat normal experience. The hospital system somehow snuck a boatload of pitocin in my IV though *angry face*), I would breastfeed for 12 months or longer, I would choose the right vaccination schedule (pshhh, impossible to do), the list goes on and on...and on. 

When Celia was born, they told me that she would not live. That she could not live. How would I physically be able to produce enough food for this newborn baby who will never see the day to finish these bottles that I am making? I would have to "pump and freeze" her food, but how can I do that when I am not eating or drinking or even sitting down? I am researching and calling people, and talking to doctors and nurses, and trying to comfort my baby that I have not and cannot even hold yet. 

When the moment finally came that no doctor ever thought would (the moment when we could introduce milk to Celia), there were restrictions and extra calories added and everything but a natural feeding experience happening. It was a beautiful experience, nonetheless, but just not possible for the long term when I look back. 

We were sent home after a short five weeks in the NICU with a perfectly normal, healthy baby. Well, somehow I was able to make enough for Celia to eat for about a month and a half during that stay. Any effort past that time was an unsuccessful one. She had to be on formula. 

It broke my heart for a long, long time. I would be so frustrated every single day - every time I made her a bottle to eat. After having a normal, healthy baby for that long...I forgot to give thanks to God that she was even eating anything. 

Introducing solid foods after 6 months was my gateway to happiness. It still is. I have 'control' now. I am physically able to give her the most nutrient-dense food that I can make. So now you all see why I am so crazy about the food I feed Celia: the loads of coconut oil, the organic butter, the gluten-free, the dairy-free, the bone broth, etc. Now you will know why my kitchen is always "clean", but never, EVER picked up: I am constantly cooking fresh food for this little girl. Now you will know why we rarely leave the house for too long: I can't just bring crackers or a pbj sandwich along for the ride. I will get a system down, hopefully, to have a little more freedom. But at her age now, this system works, and keeps me sane. 

It is crazy to me that no matter how much I worried about feeding newborn Celia formula, my fears and frustrations could not change a thing. Worrying could not make breastmilk. Worrying could not give me the perfect mommy skills. It actually disabled my relationships for a short while. I mean, who wants to be around a bitter person?

Matthew 6:25-30: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Isn’t there more to life than food and more to the body than clothing? ²⁶ Look at the birds in the sky: They do not sow, or reap, or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you more valuable than they are? ²⁷ And which of you by worrying can add even one hour to his life? ²⁸ Why do you worry about clothing? Think about how the flowers of the field grow; they do not work or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his glory was clothed like one of these! ³⁰ And if this is how God clothes the wild grass, which is here today and tomorrow is tossed into the fire to heat the oven, won’t he clothe you even more, you people of little faith?"

No matter what Celia ate or how much I worried, her Father in Heaven was meeting her needs. Her body was growing, her brain was developing, her immune system was amazing, and I had nothing to do with it! I prayed and prayed, but I still worried. Maybe I should have read my bible more and maybe I would come across this verse and maybe then, I would have found comfort in knowing that Celia's needs were met; they always have been, and they always will be. Her life was not only saved, but He was and is still taking care of her. 

I do the best that I can, and that is what God asks of me. I am so happy to know that when things are out of my control (which they technically always are), that He is there to take over. Worry is bad, disabling, unhealthy, and not in God's plan.  Of course I need to do my part and do the best that I can for my family; but I need not worry. Phew. 

Celia is now a "whopping" 17 pounds :)

It's been a year already?

I am obviously a horrible, horrible blogger (especially when you throw an active toddler into the picture). However, I will keep updating slowly, but surely. This post may be cut too short in fear that Celia is about the wake up at any given moment, but here goes!

"Where does the time go?" is one question that I never understood until I became an aunt. My nieces and nephews are still growing up way too fast. My first born nephew is officially taller than I am now! 

When this phrase applies to your own child, who is growing up way too fast right...in front of your eyes, it's a whole other situation. You then fully understand that time never slows down. Time is going and going and going as my child is growing and growing all the time! 

Today, Celia was reaching for her baby blanket, the one that I would swaddle her up tightly for comfort. For the first 8 months of her life, she could absolutely not sleep without her arms and legs tightly wrapped to the point of immobility. I honestly couldn't get the thing tight enough for her liking.

She is 14-months-old now and I can hardly remember this long "swaddled" stage of her life. Now I can just put her in her crib with a stuffed animal, and she is ready for bed! She doesn't even want to rock anymore. She literally reaches away from me...and for her crib!

She is doing something new every week, if not everyday, and little parts of the past slip my mind and get lost in time. I am so thankful for technology because it keeps the memories there! If I want a moment back in my mind, all I have to do is look at a picture (or this blog), and then all the memories come back.

Here is Celia now, after all this time.

Hello Again!

Hey All! Apologies for not continuing to update the blog lately. I promise that I will get better once we are settled into this house. (And apologies for any typo that I may write and not have time to correct.)

A lot has happened since my last post. I want to start by giving thanks that Celia is hitting all of her developmental milestones, that she has not been hospitalized still since her birth, and that our little family has a wonderful support system.

Celia at the doctor's office. I thought she had an ear infection, but nothing was wrong! :)

Shortly after Celia turned 6 months old, she was sitting up all by herself! As soon as she got a little taste of independence, she was off on her own crawling, pulling up on objects to stand, and walking (with the assistance of pushing something).

Her personality really has not changed too much, she has and always has had a feisty little attitude. She is now able to grasp the concept of "no!"; and let me tell you, our little girl does not enjoy that restrictive, two-letter word. As soon as she hears it, no matter the tone of voice, she will usually throw a fit. Now that she is strong enough to throw a true fit, she likes to throw her head backward and arch her back. I have to warn whoever is holding her because she may likely flip right out of their arms.

She isn't all attitude though, she has a very sweet side now, too. She is smiling and laughing all the time. She is able to "engage in conversation"by babbling and spitting back and forth. Her favorite person to "talk" to is his her daddy, of course, he makes the craziest voices and noises; she loves it.

Celia is still waking up in the middle of the night to eat, but I am okay with that. I've heard from so many parents that their babies sleep through the night, and I thought to myself, 

"Celia, you little stinker! I need you to sleep through the night too, but I also don't want you to go that long without eating because you are still such a little squirt..."

Thankfully, she is not waking up with her eyes wide open and ready to play anymore, she really just wants to eat and go right back to sleep. I'm okay with that. And I have now heard the other side...some nurses that I work with told me that their children never slept through the night until they were two years old. Scary thought! However, at least I know that we are not alone.

Her cousins still spend quality time with her. I love having them ride in the backseat with her because that is the one and only time that she will not cry in her car seat! When she sees Eli, Thia, Ella, Blaine, and Ari, her face truly lights up. She is the only brunette cousin so far, but not for long! She has more cousins who are due to be born soon, and I am sure that she cannot wait to meet them. (Please pray for quick and safe deliveries of the precious baby cousins!)

As I mentioned in the beginning of this post, we have moved into our own house (in Des Moines)! We are renting it for now, and hope to own it in the future. Everything is all moved in (besides other furniture that we will pick up in Mason City), but we have yet to put some belongings away and decorate. Alex has done a lot of work on the basement and plumbing so far; and he will build our wardrobe down in the laundry room today so that we can put away the clothes that are currently taking up the living room space. I cannot wait to get everything put away and organized so we can get to the fun stuff. I want to thank everyone that has helped us move. I want to thank everyone who has given us things for this house. Thank you, thank you, thank you! We cannot wait to get this house into shape and start having company. You all are welcome to visit :)

*I have a feeling that we need a little cousin sleep over soon*

I want to end this post with some prayer requests again. We have been prayed for by so many, and that was the best gift that anyone could have given to us. If you would like to email me a prayer request that I can anonymously put on here...please do at Jabecker3@dmacc.edu.

<3 Please pray for my sister, Toni (and Jomil), and my sister in-law, Erica (and Cody), as they both have had smooth pregnancies thus far and are due at any time to have their sweet babies! Please pray for Alex's cousin and his fiance', Dawn (and Danny), as she is pregnant as well! Please pray that they will also have smooth deliveries and that the babies will be healthy and come home right away.

<3 Please pray for a friend of mine that was just diagnosed with a rare blood disorder. She is not necessarily a friend that I hung out with, but we grew up in the same hometown around the same friends. She is a great person, a mother, a girlfriend, a daughter, and so much more to others. Please pray that the treatments she is receiving heals her body. Please pray that she is getting the help that she needs with her daughter in such a time consuming and physically/mentally/emotionally consuming trial in her life. 

<3 Please pray for a friend of my dad and brother. His wife is pregnant with triplet boys. Please pray not only for their sanity (haha, just kidding, I'm sure the boys will be sweet hearts just like their parents!) but pray that those sweet babies will grow and thrive in the womb and will be born at a healthy weight. If they do end up in the NICU due to prematurity, please pray that they will grow and thrive in the NICU. Please pray that God will guide the physicians to make the correct critical decision for those sweet boys. Please pray for the parents of those three babies: that they will remain relaxed and give all their anxieties to God. Please pray for a speedy recovery of Mom after the birth of these babies. Please pray that Mom and Dad will get the help that they need from family and friends when the boys finally arrive home!

<3 Please pray for all the babies that are currently in the NICU, their families, their nurses, their doctors, and all others that are affected or helping. 

<3 Please pray for all the infants, children, and adults that are currently hospitalized or dealing with health issues (both new diagnoses and on going issues). 

<3 Please pray for yourselves, asking God what you can do to help someone that you are praying for; and asking God to help you with your own needs as well!

<3 Whoever is reading this, I pray that God will meet your needs, I pray that you will keep growing in your relationship with God and that you will be a light onto others (I pray this for myself, as well).

Romans 8:35-39 

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Amen

With Gratitude Comes Joy - Can't stop reading!

Tonight I have a very heavy heart...not in a bad way, just in an overwhelming way. Mainly, it is because I have finally made myself sit down and read even just a little bit of this amazing book. I have mentioned it in a previous post and I would recommend absolutely everyone to read it. Everyone!

It is called "One Thousand Gifts: Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are" by Ann Voskamp. It is a Christian book, however, you could definitely benefit from it as a Non-Christian as well. This woman shares a wonderful story that anyone (christian, non-christian, young, old, male, female, you name it) would be inspired, cry, and not be able to stop reading.

I promise to try to keep this short so please read - an update on Celia will come toward the end :) This post is not solely about this book, but about my personal journey with Celia in relation to the book as well. I will try to not give too much away either because you must read it!

I will warn you that this is not a mushy-gushy feel-good book. It is the raw feelings of tragedy and darkness and gratefulness and death and love all at the same time. This woman experienced, at the pure and innocent age of four, something that most of us will never ever go through in a lifetime. She reveals the exact scene, her feelings, her struggle...and her... gratefulness? How could someone be grateful in time of tragedy. She will explain that grateful is what she was not for so many years, but grace is what saved her life. 

She reveals another scene involving her beloved brother-inlaw. He experiences tragedy with his own child, actually...children (much like how close we came with Celia, so it hit home to me). She explains how, as she was going through ungratefulness and bitterness and loneliness, her husbands brother was so grateful in his time of darkness. She did not get it. Not until later. 

If you are wondering, "Why do bad things happen?" Or even yet, "Why do bad things happen to 'good' people?" "Why me?" "Why you?"

I hope you find the answer in this book.

Please stay with me and read these parts of the book, which all come from the same page (I just did not want to make you read the entire page). Page 40:

"Thanksgiving - giving thanks in everything - prepares the way that God might show us His fullest salvation in Christ...."

"Thanksgiving - giving thanks in everything - is what prepares the way for salvation's whole restoration. Our salvation in Christ is real, yet that completeness of salvation is not fully realized in a life until the life realizes the need to give thanks. In Everything?" 

"All those years I was saved and had said my yes to God, but was really living the no. Was it because I had never experienced the whole of my salvation? Had never lived out the fullest expression of my salvation in Christ? Because I wasn't taking everything in my life and returning it to Jesus, falling at His feet and thanking Him. I sit still, blinded. This is why I sat all those years in church but my sole holes had never fully healed."

I enlarged that specific print to point out that I have been a Christian my entire life. I went to church, and I have truly, truly believed and wanted to live for Christ. However, I was "really living the no", especially in High School. 

I say, especially in high school, because it was then that it was my decision to choose my own path. The path of Christ was possible, but difficult. I made horrible decisions. I gossiped a lot. I had a horrible attitude. I hurt others in many different ways. Yet, I was still a Christian. So that is what I mean: "I said my yes to God, but was really living the no."

After high school, I moved away from a lot of negativity, mostly negativity that I created. I wanted a chance to actually live out my Christian life. I still was not fully living it out. I knew something was missing, but I didn't know what. I prayed and I read the bible and I attended church and I listened to Joyce Meyer online every single day. 

Then Celia came.

Now time for some heavy-hearted, late-night rambling:

She put my life into perspective quickly. Most children do. They have a way of taking the selfishness from you. Celia had a way of taking my attention, and giving it all to God (well, and her of course) :) .

When you have this beautiful, perfect child of your own placed in front of you for the very first time... you are nothing, but grateful. Throw a little tragedy in there and some people may not know what to think. I will not tell you that I "knew" Celia was going to be okay, but I was at peace with whatever was going to happen. 

When I was still pregnant and when we just found out about the fact that Celia's intestines where out - not in - I put her on a prayer chain with the radio station 107.1 online. I received an email every day that someone had prayed for her. I still receive them sometimes and it puts a smile to my face.

I also had a random lady, who sat next to me at a Woman of Faith Conference, give me a meaningfully long hug at the end, "I will be praying for you and your baby," she said. This instantly made me want to cry. The speaker of the conference lost her own child due to a birth defect. She asked everyone who had lost a child (a miscarriage or after birth) to stand. The lady who sat next to me, who gave me a hug at the end, stood. 

I knew Celia was in good hands, she was in the Lord's hands no matter if she lived a couple hours, months, or days. She would be in good hands dead (in the flesh) or alive. I was thankful for every moment. I was surprised at myself. 

Never in a million years would I think to be thankful for that situation. I would have expected to be bitter and angry and extremely depressed. But when I saw Celia, I saw God. I knew he had plans for her and for Alex and I no matter what. I am so thankful that He showed Alex and I that peace while accepting His will. Otherwise, we would not have been able to enjoy her despite the short life that we thought she would live.

I can honestly say that in all the 20 years of my relationship with God...I had never known FOR SURE that God was truly with me. I mean, I knew it, but I had never felt it. But trust me, I felt the presence of God for sure during that time. Thankfully, my faith will never be the same.

I believe that Celia was the first step to a life long process with my own faith. She is God's little girl and I will make sure that His will is done for her, better yet, He will make sure of that....I will just try to assist. It has taught me that seemingly bad things may happen to 'good people' and to Christians and to me. Celia's situation also taught us that life is short. Never ever ever ever stop praying. God is good, in the bad times and in the good times, in sickness and in health, in life and in death. It has taught me to be thankful for everything, to give thanks to God every single day. Even for poop! :)

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Celia will be 6 months old on February 28th. I cannot wait to give her her first bite of "real" food then. Her ear infection is cleared! She is over 11 lbs. She is getting smarter and stronger every day. And she can "rock herself" in her bouncy chair. Yay:

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Please pray for my sister and for my sister in-law. They are both pregnant and due this summer! Pray that they have an easy pregnancy and birth and that God will have his hand on their babies. My sister in-law has had a baby in the NICU before; and this is my sister's first pregnancy. I pray that they will have full-term/healthy babies. I pray that they will have a special time come the birth. I am so so so excited for Celia to have 2 more cousins :)

Missing Celia Too Much

"The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food in due season. You open your hand; you satisfy the desire of every living thing. The Lord is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desire of those who fear him; he also hears their cry and saves them."
Psalm 145:15-19

YESTERDAY:


As of January 2nd, I have jumped back into the work world. It has been so difficult to leave my sweet baby behind for 8+ hours while I am in training. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my job, but it is still so difficult to go there if it means leaving Celia. I mean, seriously, could you leave this cute face that follows you everywhere you go? :)

Thankfully, I have wonderful family members, who I trust with everything, that are taking care of our little angel during my time of training. I have received amazingly cute pictures and videos of Celia while I am at work (examples below). I am thankful that our family has captured many adorable moments. I cannot thank you all enough for taking care of our precious girl!!!!! We love you. 

I will be done with training and orientation at the end of the month. My status is PRN, which means I can schedule myself whenever I want! I plan to fill in for the evening shift (3-11pm). That way, I can be home with my baby all day, my sisters will watch her 2:00 pm - 4:00 pm (while I am going to work, and Alex is coming back from work), and then she will be with her daddy for the rest of the evening. This whole "being away from Celia" thing has been and is going to be the hardest thing I have done in a long, long time...it will be so special to come home to that adorable smile though:)

These past couple of days, Celia and I have been getting a lot of cuddle-time in and have made up for some lost time. Unfortunately, it is because she was not feeling the best. She had been a bit stuffy in the nose since Monday. She was acting a little strange on Wednesday, so I decided to take her temperature. 

"99 degrees" My eyes get huge. She usually is 98.5

-Five minutes later, paranoid Mommy checks again- "100 degrees" My heart drops.

"101.2" I grab the phone and call the doctor.

Her Pediatrician's office was not accepting anymore appointments as it was 5:00pm, so they suggested I go to an urgent care clinic. She was diagnosed with the flu and prescribed Tamiflu for five days. It gave her diarrhea and she hated the taste. Our baby usually gulps medicine right down with no questions asked, but this stuff must have been nasty! She had this disgusted look on her face and let it all drip down her chin. Poor, poor baby :(

She did not seem to get better on this medicine, so we took her to her usual clinic today. She was finally diagnosed with an ear infection. No wonder she was not eating! Poor Celia's ear probably hurt every time she swallowed. She is now going to take antibiotics twice daily for twelve days. Now that I know this information, I will also give her Tylenol before meals so eating doesn't hurt her ear. She was such a good girl this whole time that I had no idea that she was in any pain! She is one tough girl. (Did I mention it took three adults to hold this little (almost) five month old down just for the doctor to look in her ear?)

Since Celia was not eating her usual amount during the past couple days, I was so scared that she would have lost weight since her last check up, which was not to long ago. Thankfully, she GAINED! She was 9 lb 15 oz the last time. Now, she is 10 lb 7oz. Yay! Yay! Yay! 

We are so proud of her. What a silly thing to be proud of right? No! She could have been screaming and crying and burning calories during these past few days. Instead, she has handled herself like a little champ and has conserved every bit of calorie intake. Good Girl!


Please Pray that Celia has a quick recovery. That her ear heals, and that her stuffy nose heals so she can breathe! We thank God for keeping her well even during this small time of "sickness". We have felt nothing but the goodness of God throughout Celia's life. Actually, throughout OUR lives.

January 20, 2013

Celia's Check-Up!!!!

(Again, no time to go through and edit any errors to my writing... it is bedtime for CC and I!)

Celia's Check-up

In a nutshell: IT WENT GREAT!

MINUS THE SHOTS :(

-Growth-

Compared to other infants her same age, Celia is the in one percentile for her size...Haha!

Compared to other infants (regardless of age) her same height, Celia weighs more than 25% of them...chunk! :)

She has a great sized head.

She is growing rapidly (but on her own type of growth curve).

She is 9 lb 15 oz and 22 inches long.

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-Milestones-

At four months, babies usually double in weight from birth. Celia was born at 4 lb and 3oz [and 15 inches long]; she has more than doubled in weight.

She has a strong little neck! She can hold her head up and control where her head turns.

She can roll from stomach to back.

She coos, smiles, and laughs.

She sleeps for longer periods of time...FINALLY!

She already has some stranger anxiety.

Her eyes should be changing at any moment, but they still look so greenish. Is she really our baby???? Just kidding :)

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-Immunizations-

Oh, the wonderful controversial subject: Celia is receiving all the recommended vaccines for 4 month old babies. However, we did half of them this week and will do the rest next week. Her pediatrician was very supportive with my decision to split them up...maybe because I have some black mail on him now. As all new employees must watch it, I saw a very funny, yet embarrassing, video of him dressing up and singing a song that helps us to remember the hospital's core value stuff. Ha!

Now, I have to figure how if I want  Celia to receive the flu shot at her next appointment. Her pediatrician highly recommends it, but kindly reassures me that it is my decision, of course. I do not think that I, or my siblings, ever had gotten the flu shot (until our jobs required it). If you have a strong opinion or personal experience one way or the other...please share this information with me via Facebook or email: Jabecker3@dmacc.edu

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-Eating-

Celia currently takes formula. Her pediatrician said that it is absolutely my decision and based on my judgment when to introduce food (between her 4 month and 6 month appointment).Usually at four months, babies are "allowed" to start on baby oatmeal. However, I am going to wait just a little longer with Celia.

She is drooling a lot (a sign of readiness to have the oatmeal). She seems interested in what Mommy and Daddy are eating (another sign of readiness). But I am deciding to wait just a few weeks longer because she was a premie and she was not introduced to eating right away in the first place. Doesn't it seem logical that if she has not had as much practice eating as a normal four month old, that we wait a little bit to introduce her to eating oatmeal? That is my thinking anyway.

When we do start the oatmeal feedings, it will begin very thin and liquid-like at first, of course. We will steadily increase the thickness of the consistency (like "training" her to eat baby food). Then, we will introduce baby food! I plan to introduce food groups individually to be aware of any allergies she may have. I plan NOT to buy baby food in jars to use on a daily basis; we will only use it for an on-the-go basis. I plan to give her real, natural food without the extra stuff she doesn't need...it will just be all mushed up!

At her 6 month appointment, I will let her pediatrician know how she is doing with the oatmeal so he can give me the go-ahead to begin the baby food.

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"Give praise to the Lord, proclaim his name;
    make known among the nations what he has done."

- 1 Chronicles 16:8

Still, we have no worries with Celia. We are so happy that she is still on the right track. We believe that she will continue this progress for the rest of her life.  Her pediatrician told me to "keep up the good work", but we have done no work to get her to this point! All the glory to God! We do our best to "maintain" the gift of health that He has given to our child, who was given to us.

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Four Months Old!

Celia turned four months old on December 28, 2012. 

Tomorrow is her check up with her pediatrician. Though Celia seems wonderful health-wise and developmentally, I still get nervous and anxious while anticipating the appointment every time. "Maybe they will see something that I don't see right now," I think. And I hate thinking this way. It is so weird because I am (and always have been) very positive about baby CC. The anxiety comes from a tiny little voice in the very back of my mind, but it is there nonetheless. 

I also get this nervousness and anxiety because seeing the pediatrician means Mommy needs to make some big decisions for Baby! I need to chose which immunizations she gets and does not get, how many she gets at one time, etc. Then, once I do finally make a decision that I feel good about for her, the pediatrician makes me feel as if I am doing the wrong thing (since many doctors have very different views of immunizations). -Yes, I could switch pediatricians, but I do not want to switch clinics, (as CC's surgeons, gastroenterologist, and other specialists work right in the same clinic incase we would have any concerns). Ugh!

Anyway...we are extremely excited to find out Celia's new weight and height. She seems so very big to us. We are also eager for feedback on what we can do to improve as caregivers: Are we feeding her enough? Are we doing everything we possibly can to help her continually develop and improve? When will she be able to start rice/baby food?

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Please continue to pray for Celia. We pray that her appointment tomorrow goes well and that the appointments to follow go well, too! We pray that she keeps thriving. We pray that she keeps eating, pooping, tolerating food, and developing normally. We also pray that she continues to be healthy (as it is a terrible season for RSV and other illnesses).

-We do not anticipate anything less, but we will continue to pray-

Thank you:)

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!Tomorrow, we will absolutely have an update and pictures!